A complex god.


“Well Mr er… Zeus?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

“And you’re here to see me because?”

“I love the fairer sex, just can’t help myself.”

“Ahh yes, so let’s see… where did we start?”

“First, there was beautiful Antiope, daughter of Ares.”

“You seduced her in the form of a satyr didn’t you? Hmm that’s not such an odd thing given their disposition.”

“And then Danae, she was lovely.”

“Ah yes, the golden shower girl, again not so odd, it’s more common than you’d think.”

“What about Europa then?”

“Well a bull is definitely a powerful symbol of masculinity and it does lead one to wonder at the lady’s stamina. Your mother wasn’t frightened a bull by any chance?”

“No, of course not why do you ask?”

“Just a theory I’m working on.”

“Then there was Alkmene, I pretended to be her husband.”

“Common deception and not as adventurous as the others. Now let’s look at the notes, Leda, you disguised yourself as a swan, Pthia, a dove. You had a bit of a bird theme going on there didn’t you? Was your mother frightened by a bird perhaps?”

“No, what is thing about my mother?”

“Psychoanalysis is a very new idea Mr Zeus, I’m developing my methodology.

“I see, oh well, there’s Eurymedousa I’m not particularly proud of that one.”

“You turned yourself into an ant, granted it’s a marvellous trick, but an ant? How did you even, you know? And she had a child!”

“Yes Myrmidon, he’s not what you’d call a handsome boy.”

“Your mother wasn’t frightened of ants I suppose?”

“My mother, again? Look if you must know my mother was the titan Rhea and when I was born, my father Cronus tried to swallow me whole just as he had done all my siblings.”

“Hardly a normal childhood. Perhaps it was this lack of parental love that caused your addiction. Now why don’t you tell me all about it” Dr Freud sat back and turned a new page on his notepad, dear me this fellow has a bigger complex than Oedipus!