No Homunculus?



“I am not doing this sky-clad!” insisted Esther Hilditch.

“But it says in the book one of us has to be or it won’t work properly,” replied Trevor Wilkins, they were currently in the old windmill a short a distance from Mackintosh University.

Esther was sitting cross-legged in a chalk drawn pentacle. “Why can’t you do it then?” she retorted in her fingernails down the blackboard voice.

“Because I’m reading the spell, that’s why.”

“You just want to see me in the nuddy.”

He thought about it, she was right, of course, but he did also want the spell to work. “Do you want Derek to win the prize for best incarnation then?” he knew that Scuttle’s girlfriend Gwennie Poole had no inhibitions about removing her clothes.

“No I don’t want the little oik to win anything,” she replied, Derek Scuttle was a gifted scholarship student and Professor Armstrong’s favourite, both she and Trevor were there because of their rich and influential parents.

“Well then?”

“Okay, but I’ll only take my top off,” she stated firmly.


“You heard me Trev, nothing else.” She stressed while unbuttoning her blouse.

Trevor opened Torquel’s Primer and read the spell whilst trying not to make it obvious where his attention really was, he ended with the command. “Mando servi appareret…” there was a tiny blue flash.

“Well where is it?” asked Esther quickly covering herself up.

“Erm I don’t know.” the spell should have summoned a homunculus to do his bidding, they searched the old windmill in the darkness but could find nothing.

An eerie howl echoed across the field. “What was that that?” asked the girl in alarm.

“Oh it’s just Tibbles the kitchen cat.” Explained Trevor, the aforementioned feline had been previously returned to life by Professor Armstrong, unfortunately the animal did now have glowing green eyes, a bite that could chew through wood and a tendency to howl at the moon.

“So no imp, just a little blue flash and I showed you my tits for that?” Esther sneered.

“Sorry Esther, but you were supposed to be completely sky-clad.”

“Yeah, alright I believe you, not,” she said sarcastically “I seriously think I’m going to have to review our relationship.”

“But Esther?” he pleaded.

“Come on idiot let’s get that book you’re not supposed to have back to Armstrong’s lab then you can buy me a coffee before the Black Cauldron shuts.”

As they walked off a pair of malevolent red eyes regarded them, Trevor had been right for a change and Esther’s desire to preserve her modesty had resulted in the creation of a small demon rather than the desired homunculus. It chuckled to itself and scurried behind them keeping to the shadows, the creature had no clear plan but was determined to cause destruction and hurt, it would perhaps start with the two humans walking back to the brightly lit building and then maybe a fire or two.

A noise nearby made the demon start and it turned to see a pair of bright green eyes shining in the night.

“Meow?” said the owner of the glowing orbs curiously…

Gwendolen Poole was sat in the refectory staff room next morning drinking a cup of tea while idly perusing the latest copy of “Hey You!” magazine when Mrs Gloss’s voice broke her reverie.

“Gwennie!” the cook screamed. “Come and see what your bloody cat’s dragged in, it’s got horns and everything!”