Roll up, roll up


Roll up, roll up don’t miss your chance!

Sir, madam this is an offer never to be repeated!

A chance to have all your dreams realised, to broaden your horizons. I can guarantee you success, riches, and all you have to do is sign on the dotted line.

Come on young man, don’t be shy!

Step right up and start on your path to success, just look at all these photos of happy customers that my lovely assistant Lilith is passing round for you to admire, yes my assistant is a beauty isn’t she, those legs go all the way up to the top and isn’t she stacked? And there’s plenty more like her if you have the money, you know what I mean?

Ladies, I certainly don’t want you to miss out, have a gander at my buddy Mister Cain, look at those rippling muscles and look at those pecs girls and you too of course sir!

Go on madam give his bicep a squeeze, he’ll not bite.

All I need from you to guarantee a lifestyle seldom surpassed and for all to envy is…

Your signature on the contract as down payment, come one come all the store is open!

Enrol now for free it’s too good to lose!

You’re interested sir? Well step and and join me, just sign here… you too sir… sign on the dotted line.

Madam, are you interested?

You want to know my name?  well I don’t often get asked that one, but since I’m in a good mood and your husband has just enrolled, I’ll tell you, it’s Lucifer, some call me Old Nick but he was my father…

Madam, please don’t go we’ve only just got started, madam come back… madam?

Oh well, you can’t win them all, what’s that? No, no, you’ve signed on the dotted line, too late now, on your way, sir, enjoy the wonderful life coming to you and I’ll see you in fifty years. If I’m not there in person one of my representatives will be there to greet you…

Roll up, roll up, don’t miss your chance, sir, madam this is an offer never to be repeated.